Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
