Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
