It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I AM VODKA MAN
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Randomize
