The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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