Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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