My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
