if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
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