see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
