yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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