Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
