and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Drunk is not a location!
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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