I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
