You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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