we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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