Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You're like the curious george of whores
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
