he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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