she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
