I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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