Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
