He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize