that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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