There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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