his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
