just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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