ADVERTISEMENT

• (921): View more from

  found out what b.m.t stands for.

  (1-921): View more from

  what did you think?

  (921): View more from

  bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.

  Fav 27 1215 742

  share tweet
  

• (480): View more from Arizona

  So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.

  Fav 54 1087 4659

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (571): View more from Virginia

  there were more penises there than on chat roulette

  Fav 22 1456 3687

  share tweet
  

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.

  Fav 7 1585 2364

  share tweet
  

• (510): View more from California

  Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed

  Fav 4 2842 1139

  share tweet
  

• (812): View more from Indiana

  I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.

  Fav 24 955 1895

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (208): View more from Idaho

  I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?

  (1-208): View more from Idaho

  Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.

  Fav 10 1891 699

  share tweet
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?

  Fav 7 1885 660

  share tweet
  

• (416): View more from Toronto

  Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.

  (416): View more from Toronto

  NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.

  Fav 6 1813 668

  share tweet
  

• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?

  Fav 7 1089 481

  share tweet
  

• (903): View more from Texas

  Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back

  Fav 3 802 570

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (520): View more from Arizona

  Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol

  Fav 1 704 491

  share tweet
  

• (734): View more from Michigan

  He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.

  Fav 0 342 237

  share tweet
  

• (914): View more from New York

  I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme

  Fav 1 13 42

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (303): View more from Colorado

  I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.

  Fav 0 42 8

  share tweet
  

Randomize