I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
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mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
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Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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