You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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