it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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