if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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