So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
