I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
