I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
