You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
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