Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
