Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
