i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
