I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
