You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
