People in love make me want to vomit
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
