I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
she pinky promised me she was 18
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
