bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.