I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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