dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
