I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize