My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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