maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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