I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
