How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
