I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
