I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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