i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
im six kinds of drunk right now
you win again, gameday.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
