VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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