i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
