Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
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I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
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It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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