So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
