so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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