Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
