Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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