I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You dont lie about slip and slides
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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