I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I need water and some morals
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
