have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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