I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
