I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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