i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
