So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
im six kinds of drunk right now
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
