jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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